Sod all on.

Paddock Wood grew hops and fruit, and Londoners used to come here on holiday to pick them. Nobody comes on holiday now. There's not much to do beyond a café and the supermarket. They're building houses on land that floods, the doctors and schools are full and the station parking spills into the streets. And kids with catapults.

There's a Greggs, at over four times the typical town's rate per head, and 2 pubs. There's no bus after 8.19pm and Sunday's a write-off. Vandalism runs well above the typical town's rate, which is the catapults earning their keep.

The editor, who got the train out