Crap Towns / Kent / Deal
Deal
36/100Crap Score
630th crappest of 984 towns, and 28th in Kent. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
The DFLs got here first.
Castle, pier, shingle beach. And a Londoner in every cottage on Middle Street.
Deal has a castle, a pier and a shingle beach, and it's lovely, which is the problem. The Londoners found it, so house prices went daft. The old streets round Middle Street were built for smugglers, not cars, so everyone parks on the pavement. And the kitchens are dodgier than you'd expect for somewhere this pleased with itself.
The last bus is at 7.46pm, so the Londoners had better have brought the car, which explains the pavements. Halifax, Lloyds and NatWest have all shut a branch. There's no public pool either. The sea's free, they'll tell you, and it's sunny, and that's the point of Deal.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Deal's 88 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 88% of towns.
- Food hygiene88/1005.9% rated 0 to 2, of the 204 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband73/1008.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 19.7% across the Dover council area
- Serious road collisions68/1003.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson58/1007.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution36/1006.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.6 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping33/1008.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Dover council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour32/10012.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain17/100116 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires7/1002.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Sewage spills5/1000.8 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 23 | Broadstairs | 47 |
| 24 | Hythe | 44 |
| 25 | Tonbridge | 43 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.26 | Royal Tunbridge Wells | 39 |
| 27 | Larkfield | 38 |
| 28 | Deal | 36 |
| 29 | Herne | 32 |
| 30 | Sevenoaks | 27 |
| 31 | Longfield, New Ash Green and Hartley | 10 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Deal by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 61.2 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of abandoned vehicles on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 0.7 per 10,000 people, 22% lower than the typical town's 0.9
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
- Good Deal Castle's bathing water rating, 2025
What's left on the high street
- 25 pubs, 15 hairdressers, 10 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 5 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 7.4% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (2 of 27) Worse: 1.9x the typical town's 4.0%
- 3 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 10.4 per 100,000 people, 3.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 13 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 4.5 per 10,000 people, 2.8x the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 7.46pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.5% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 0.5%
- 20.7% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 34% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,906 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 24% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Dover council
Have a crap-off
Deal against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.