Crap Towns / Kent / Herne
Herne
32/100Crap Score
672nd crappest of 984 towns, and 29th in Kent. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Herne? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Not Herne Bay.
The bit inland from Herne Bay with an old windmill and not much else to go on about.
Herne is the bit inland from Herne Bay that people forget about. It's got a nice old windmill you can see from the estuary, a village centre the lorries squeeze through, and 1 hairdresser. Crime's barely there. Somebody keeps dumping rubbish in the lanes, mind.
It only rains on 106 days a year and the sun's out for 1,846 hours, which is a lot of good weather to waste on a windmill. There's no public pool, and the sea's down the road in Herne Bay, which nobody here will admit is the better option.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Herne's 80 for fly-tipping means it's crapper than 80% of towns.
- Fly-tipping80/10018.8 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Canterbury council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Broadband78/1007.4% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 25.0% across the Canterbury council area
- Food hygiene70/1005.7% rated 0 to 2, of the 35 food businesses with a rating
- Serious road collisions59/1002.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires46/1005.7 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Air pollution41/1007.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Criminal damage and arson14/1004.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills9/1004.5 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour3/1006.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain1/100106 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 23 | Broadstairs | 47 |
| 24 | Hythe | 44 |
| 25 | Tonbridge | 43 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.26 | Royal Tunbridge Wells | 39 |
| 27 | Larkfield | 38 |
| 28 | Deal | 36 |
| 29 | Herne | 32 |
| 30 | Sevenoaks | 27 |
| 31 | Longfield, New Ash Green and Hartley | 10 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Herne by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 39.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 49% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of abandoned vehicles on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 44% higher than the typical town's 0.9
- 5 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2021
- 1 of 2 bathing waters here or within 2 km rated Excellent in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 1 hairdresser on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 19% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.02am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.4x the typical town's 0.5%
- 38.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.5x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,846 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 20% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Canterbury council
Have a crap-off
Herne against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.