Crap Towns / Kent / Longfield, New Ash Green and Hartley
Longfield, New Ash Green and Hartley
10/100Crap Score
New Ash Green is NAG.
882nd crappest of 984 towns, and 31st in Kent. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Longfield, New Ash Green and Hartley? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
New Ash Green. Which house?
A planned village nobody can find their way round, and a shopping centre gone to seed.
New Ash Green was planned as a modern village in the 1960s, and the house numbers still make no sense to anyone, delivery drivers included. The shopping centre is tatty with empty flats above it. Longfield's got the station. Hartley's got Longfield's station.
There's no bus after 6.21pm and there's nothing at all on a Sunday, so if the courier can't find you, nobody else is getting there either. Nearly a third of premises can't get gigabit broadband. Even the internet's lost.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Longfield, New Ash Green and Hartley's 97 for broadband means it's crapper than 97% of towns.
- Broadband97/10030.5% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 23.8% across the Sevenoaks council area
- Air pollution77/1009.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Criminal damage and arson41/1006.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene37/1001.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 64 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping32/1008.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Sevenoaks council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Deliberate fires28/1004.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour23/10010.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions14/1001.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain7/100112 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 23 | Broadstairs | 47 |
| 24 | Hythe | 44 |
| 25 | Tonbridge | 43 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.26 | Royal Tunbridge Wells | 39 |
| 27 | Larkfield | 38 |
| 28 | Deal | 36 |
| 29 | Herne | 32 |
| 30 | Sevenoaks | 27 |
| 31 | Longfield, New Ash Green and Hartley | 10 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Longfield, New Ash Green and Hartley by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 46.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 3 reports of litter and bins on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 1.9 per 10,000 people, 2.1x the typical town's 0.9
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2018
What's left on the high street
- 5 pubs, 6 hairdressers, 1 charity shop, 1 bookmaker on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.6 per 10,000 people, 63% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 6.21pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 3.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 6.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 31.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,665 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 9% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Sevenoaks council
Have a crap-off
Longfield, New Ash Green and Hartley against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.