Crap Towns / Kent / Kings Hill
Kings Hill
2/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 2. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Anyone got a bar of signal?
They built a whole town on an old airfield. It's tidy, it's quiet, and your phone doesn't work.
Kings Hill is an old RAF airfield turned into a town of identical new houses with aeroplane street names, a service charge and no phone signal. Crime's practically nil. People who've lived there for years still get lost on the estate, and the old control tower's no help.
There's a supermarket and 2 pubs. The last bus is at 7.18pm and there isn't one at all on a Sunday, so you're stuck in The Truman Show with no signal to tell anyone. Kent's answer to a gated community, without the gate.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Kings Hill's 67 for broadband means it's crapper than 67% of towns.
- Broadband67/1009.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 14.5% across the Tonbridge and Malling council area
- Air pollution64/1008.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires58/1006.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene31/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 27 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping27/1007.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Tonbridge and Malling council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Rain15/100115 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Anti-social behaviour14/1009.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson13/1004.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions5/1000.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 24 | Hythe | 44 |
| 25 | Tonbridge | 43 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.26 | Royal Tunbridge Wells | 39 |
| 27 | Larkfield | 38 |
| 28 | Deal | 36 |
| 29 | Herne | 32 |
| 30 | Sevenoaks | 27 |
| 31 | Longfield, New Ash Green and Hartley | 10 |
| – | Kings Hill | 2 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Kings Hill by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
What's left on the high street
- 2 pubs, 1 hairdresser on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.0 per 10,000 people, 25% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open Better: 2.0 per 10,000 people, 2.9x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 7.18pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.8x the typical town's 0.5%
- 4.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 71% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,695 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 11% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Tonbridge and Malling council
Have a crap-off
Kings Hill against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.