Crap Towns / Surrey / Ashford Common
Ashford Common
29/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 29. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Lovely fence. Go on, have a look.
A giant waterworks with some houses round it. Nobody has ever come here for the houses.
Ashford Common? It's a waterworks with houses round the edge. London's tea starts here and the locals get a fence to stare at. No vandals, no yobs, no sewage, no nothing. The only thing that'll hurt you is the roads, which are worse than most for serious crashes. So look both ways, then go home.
The air's got nearly twice the typical town's nitrogen dioxide in it. There's no public park, no swimming pool and 1 pub. The buses run till 1.01am, though, so getting out is the one thing Ashford Common does well.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Ashford Common's 94 for air pollution means it's crapper than 94% of towns.
- Air pollution94/10014.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions93/1004.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping65/10013.7 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Spelthorne council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Broadband48/1008.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 7.8% across the Spelthorne council area
- Food hygiene35/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 21 food businesses with a rating
- Deliberate fires12/100
- Criminal damage and arson11/1004.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour10/1008.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain7/100112 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 22 | Farnham | 38 |
| 23 | Sunbury-on-Thames | 34 |
| 24 | Camberley | 31 |
| 25 | Epsom | 29 |
| – | Ashford Common | 29 |
| 26 | Cobham | 27 |
| 27 | Cranleigh | 26 |
| 28 | Ewell | 26 |
| 29 | Haslemere | 23 |
Ashford Common by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 51.6 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 32% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 299 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 359 per 10,000 people, 105.6x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 1 pub, 3 hairdressers on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 1.01am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 2.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 4x the typical town's 0.5%
- 37.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Worse: 2.4x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,689 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 10% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Spelthorne council
Have a crap-off
Ashford Common against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.