Crap Towns / Surrey / Farnham
Farnham
38/100Crap Score
615th crappest of 984 towns, and 22nd in Surrey. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Roadworks. Since forever.
Farnham's got a castle, Georgian streets and roadworks that have been there for donkey's years.
Farnham has a castle, a deer park and a pretty Georgian street, and locals call it The Nam, like it's a war zone. Mostly it's roadworks. The one-way system jams, the temporary lights stay for months, you can't find a space and you sit there breathing fumes. They keep building houses. The roads stay the same, and they're bad for crashes.
Banks have announced 5 branch closures since 2022, over seven times the typical town's rate per head, and there's 1 bank left. Nearly a quarter of premises can't get gigabit broadband either. They dug the whole town up and still didn't lay any fibre.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Farnham's 96 for broadband means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Broadband96/10024.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 28.9% across the Waverley council area
- Serious road collisions81/1003.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene70/1003.9% rated 0 to 2, of the 129 food businesses with a rating
- Sewage spills45/100222 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Air pollution44/1007.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.6 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Rain34/100122 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires22/100
- Fly-tipping17/1005.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Waverley council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour17/1009.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson15/1004.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 18 | Hersham | 46 |
| 19 | Caterham | 44 |
| 20 | Dorking | 44 |
| 21 | Stanwell | 43 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.22 | Farnham | 38 |
| 23 | Sunbury-on-Thames | 34 |
| 24 | Camberley | 31 |
| 25 | Epsom | 29 |
| 26 | Cobham | 27 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Farnham by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 51.7 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 32% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 963 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 470 per 10,000 people, 138.2x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 16 pubs, 21 hairdressers, 7 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 2 vape shops, 1 bank, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 5 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 24.4 per 100,000 people, 7.2x the typical town's 3.4
- 11 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 5.4 per 10,000 people, 3.4x the typical town's 1.6
- 5 public swimming pools open Better: 2.4 per 10,000 people, 3.4x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.46pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 20% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 23.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 1.5x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,627 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 6% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Waverley council
Have a crap-off
Farnham against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.