Crap Towns / Surrey / Camberley
Camberley
31/100Crap Score
Known as Rambo-Cambo.
679th crappest of 984 towns, and 24th in Surrey. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Camberley? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Their landmark is a drainpipe elephant
Pricey parking, empty shops and an elephant made of drainpipes.
Camberley's big landmark is an elephant made of concrete drainpipes. That tells you a lot. Parking costs a fortune, the shops are crap, there's nowhere decent to eat and the station's covered in litter. The roads see more bad crashes than most. Locals call it Cambo, which makes it sound fun. It isn't.
It used to be called Cambridge Town, till the post kept ending up in Cambridge. Since 2010 it's lost 3 public pools for good, and the latest serious pollution incident put sludge in the water. The buses run till 12.20am, so you can at least get away from the elephant.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Camberley's 80 for serious road collisions means it's crapper than 80% of towns.
- Serious road collisions80/1003.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution75/10010.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Broadband50/1007.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 10.6% across the Surrey Heath council area
- Anti-social behaviour40/10013.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires38/100
- Criminal damage and arson33/1005.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain30/100121 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping28/1007.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Surrey Heath council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Food hygiene23/1001.4% rated 0 to 2, of the 210 food businesses with a rating
- Sewage spills18/10033.7 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 20 | Dorking | 44 |
| 21 | Stanwell | 43 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.22 | Farnham | 38 |
| 23 | Sunbury-on-Thames | 34 |
| 24 | Camberley | 31 |
| 25 | Epsom | 29 |
| 26 | Cobham | 27 |
| 27 | Cranleigh | 26 |
| 28 | Ewell | 26 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Camberley by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 63.3 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 17% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 1,634 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 444 per 10,000 people, 130.6x the typical town's 3.4
- 6 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 9 pubs, 8 hairdressers, 4 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 7 banks, 2 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 3.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 33) Better: 25% lower than the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Better: 2.7 per 100,000 people, 21% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 9 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.4 per 10,000 people, 1.5x the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open; 3 closed for good since 2010 Better: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 14% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.20am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 29.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 1.9x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,627 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 6% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Surrey Heath council
Have a crap-off
Camberley against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.