Crap Towns / Surrey / Cranleigh
Cranleigh
26/100Crap Score
729th crappest of 984 towns, and 27th in Surrey. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Biggest village in England, no station.
Cranleigh calls itself a village so it doesn't have to explain why there's no station.
Cranleigh claims to be the biggest village in England, which makes it a town that won't admit it. They ripped up the railway and made it a footpath, so now you can walk to Guildford. Cheers.
The storm overflows round it spilled for 5.6 times as long as the typical town's, so it's a big village with a big shit problem. About a fifth of premises can't get gigabit broadband. There's no public park, but there are 4 public pools, which is a lot of swimming for a village. Or a town. Whatever it is.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Cranleigh's 94 for broadband means it's crapper than 94% of towns.
- Broadband94/10020.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 28.9% across the Waverley council area
- Sewage spills90/1001,541 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Food hygiene66/1004.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 44 food businesses with a rating
- Serious road collisions45/1002.3 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain38/100123 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Air pollution32/1006.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping17/1005.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Waverley council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson11/1004.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires4/100
- Anti-social behaviour3/1006.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 23 | Sunbury-on-Thames | 34 |
| 24 | Camberley | 31 |
| 25 | Epsom | 29 |
| 26 | Cobham | 27 |
| 27 | Cranleigh | 26 |
| 28 | Ewell | 26 |
| 29 | Haslemere | 23 |
| 30 | West Molesey | 23 |
| 31 | Farncombe | 23 |
Cranleigh by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 40.2 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 47% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 428 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 411 per 10,000 people, 120.9x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2019
What's left on the high street
- 4 pubs, 6 hairdressers, 2 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 2 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 7 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 6.7 per 10,000 people, 4.2x the typical town's 1.6
- 4 public swimming pools open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Better: 3.8 per 10,000 people, 5.4x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.57pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 32.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Worse: 2.1x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,649 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 8% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Waverley council
Have a crap-off
Cranleigh against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.