Crap Towns / Surrey / West Molesey
West Molesey
23/100Crap Score
761st crappest of 984 towns, and 30th in Surrey. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Not Moseley.
Nobody can spell West Molesey, nobody can get a train from it and there's nothing to do there.
West Molesey is the bit of Surrey everyone spells wrong. It's got the Thames towpath, Hurst Park, where they used to race horses and hold prizefights, and a reservoir. Now the big fight is over boats moored on the river and the rubbish left on the bank.
There are 20 pubs and 1 charity shop, 1 bookie and 1 bank, which is the right way round. The stations are miles away, the nitrogen dioxide's 1.6 times the typical town's, and the kitchens are 2.3 times as likely as the typical town's to be rated 0 to 2. Spell it right, mind.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
West Molesey's 93 for air pollution means it's crapper than 93% of towns.
- Air pollution93/10013.4 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene87/1005.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 196 food businesses with a rating
- Serious road collisions66/1002.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Broadband45/1003.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 15.3% across the Elmbridge council area
- Fly-tipping41/1009.6 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Elmbridge council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Deliberate fires10/100
- Criminal damage and arson8/1003.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain8/100112 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills6/1001.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour4/1006.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 26 | Cobham | 27 |
| 27 | Cranleigh | 26 |
| 28 | Ewell | 26 |
| 29 | Haslemere | 23 |
| 30 | West Molesey | 23 |
| 31 | Farncombe | 23 |
| 32 | Godalming | 22 |
| 33 | Ash and Ash Vale | 19 |
| 34 | Weybourne | 12 |
West Molesey by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 42.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 44% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 1,833 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 389 per 10,000 people, 114.4x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 20 pubs, 10 hairdressers, 1 charity shop, 1 bookmaker, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 17) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 13 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.8 per 10,000 people, 1.8x the typical town's 1.6
- 6 public swimming pools open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Better: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.48am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 28.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 1.8x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,666 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 9% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Elmbridge council
Have a crap-off
West Molesey against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.