Crap Towns / Surrey / Farncombe
Farncombe
23/100Crap Score
762nd crappest of 984 towns, and 31st in Surrey. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Barrier's down. Still down. Still.
The level crossing barriers are down again. The fast trains still aren't stopping.
Farncombe's the bit next to Godalming that tells people it's Godalming. There's a park and a lake. The fast trains fly straight past, the level crossing barriers stay down for ever and commuters park outside your house.
For somewhere this quiet, the kitchens are a bit grim, with 3.6 times the typical town's share rated 0 to 2. Crime's under half the typical town's. The buses barely run after 7pm, so the evening's a choice between the barrier and the telly.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Farncombe's 90 for broadband means it's crapper than 90% of towns.
- Broadband90/10013.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 28.9% across the Waverley council area
- Food hygiene80/1008.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 35 food businesses with a rating
- Serious road collisions60/1002.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution45/1007.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Rain42/100125 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills34/100116 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Deliberate fires22/100
- Fly-tipping17/1005.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Waverley council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson5/1003.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour2/1005.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 27 | Cranleigh | 26 |
| 28 | Ewell | 26 |
| 29 | Haslemere | 23 |
| 30 | West Molesey | 23 |
| 31 | Farncombe | 23 |
| 32 | Godalming | 22 |
| 33 | Ash and Ash Vale | 19 |
| 34 | Weybourne | 12 |
| 35 | Great Bookham and Fetcham | 9 |
Farncombe by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 33.6 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 56% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 670 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 506 per 10,000 people, 148.8x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2023
What's left on the high street
- 7 pubs, 5 hairdressers, 2 charity shops, 1 bookmaker on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.3 per 10,000 people, 44% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 14% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.01pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 3.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 20.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 32% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,630 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 6% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Waverley council
Have a crap-off
Farncombe against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.