Crap Towns / Surrey / Ashford
Ashford
52/100Crap Score
471st crappest of 984 towns, and 15th in Surrey. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Wrong Ashford, mate
Barbers, chicken shops and fast trains that don't stop. Can't blame them.
Ashford, the one by Heathrow, not the one in Kent. The high street's barbers and takeaways end to end, 16 hairdressers against 3 pubs, and the takeaways have some of the dodgiest kitchens about. The fast trains to London go straight through without stopping. Smart trains.
The air's got nearly twice the typical town's nitrogen dioxide in it, and serious crashes on the roads run at nearly twice the typical town's rate as well. The buses run till 1.10am, so at least you can leave late.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Ashford's 95 for air pollution means it's crapper than 95% of towns.
- Air pollution95/10015.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions94/1004.6 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene75/1004.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 108 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping65/10013.7 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Spelthorne council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour41/10013.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson37/1006.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband36/1005.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 7.8% across the Spelthorne council area
- Rain7/100112 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires6/100
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 11 | Walton-on-Thames | 59 |
| 12 | Oxted | 57 |
| 13 | Weybridge | 55 |
| 14 | Tadworth and Epsom Downs | 54 |
| 15 | Ashford | 52 |
| 16 | New Haw, West Byfleet and Sheerwater | 51 |
| 17 | Guildford | 48 |
| 18 | Hersham | 46 |
| 19 | Caterham | 44 |
Ashford by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 76.1 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 599 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 262 per 10,000 people, 77.1x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 16 hairdressers, 3 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 2 vape shops, 1 bank, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 10.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 10) Worse: 2.5x the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 4.4 per 100,000 people, 29% higher than the typical town's 3.4
- 7 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.1 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 1.10am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 3.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 6.6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 35.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.3x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,690 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 10% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Spelthorne council
Have a crap-off
Ashford against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.