Crap Towns / Surrey / Tadworth and Epsom Downs
Tadworth and Epsom Downs
54/100Crap Score
449th crappest of 984 towns, and 14th in Surrey. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Tadworth. Or Epsom Downs. Whatever.
The Derby once a year. An argument about the postal address the rest of it.
Tadworth and Epsom Downs get the Derby once a year, and the rest of the time nobody can agree which one they live in, because the postal addresses are a muddle. Tattenham Corner sounds very grand. It's a bend in a racecourse.
The kitchens are the problem, with over three times the typical town's share rated 0 to 2 on hygiene. Nearly half the people live over 400 metres from a park or a swing, which takes some doing next to the Downs. There have been 22 serious pollution incidents in or round the place since 2016. Nice view of London, though. From a distance.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Tadworth and Epsom Downs's 92 for fly-tipping means it's crapper than 92% of towns.
- Fly-tipping92/10032.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Reigate and Banstead council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Food hygiene89/1007.8% rated 0 to 2, of the 90 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution78/10010.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions76/1003.3 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Broadband45/1005.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 12.0% across the Reigate and Banstead council area
- Rain37/100123 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson25/1005.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills18/10033.5 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour13/1008.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires12/100
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 10 | Woking | 60 |
| 11 | Walton-on-Thames | 59 |
| 12 | Oxted | 57 |
| 13 | Weybridge | 55 |
| 14 | Tadworth and Epsom Downs | 54 |
| 15 | Ashford | 52 |
| 16 | New Haw, West Byfleet and Sheerwater | 51 |
| 17 | Guildford | 48 |
| 18 | Hersham | 46 |
Tadworth and Epsom Downs by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 48.9 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 36% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 2,578 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 951 per 10,000 people, 279.7x the typical town's 3.4
- 22 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2024
What's left on the high street
- 8 pubs, 13 hairdressers, 3 charity shops, 1 bookmaker on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.1 per 10,000 people, 31% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open; 2 closed for good since 2010 About the same: 0.7 per 10,000 people, about the same as the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.26am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 46.7% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 3x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,602 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Reigate and Banstead council
Have a crap-off
Tadworth and Epsom Downs against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.