Crap Towns / Surrey / Banstead
Banstead
46/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 46. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Banstead? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Mattresses in the lanes. In Surrey.
Banstead is posh Surrey with mattresses dumped in the lanes and a station miles from anywhere.
Banstead looks like nice Surrey. Downs, woods, a well in the High Street. Then you see the lanes. Fly-tipping across the council area runs at nearly three times the typical council's, and the lanes get the mattresses. The station's a long grim walk from the centre, and the trains get cancelled first when anything goes wrong. Posh, they said.
The parade is charity shops, over five times the typical town's per head, plus bookies and 1 pub. Barclays and Lloyds have both shut. There are 5 public toilets, mind, so if the walk to the station gets too much you're covered.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Banstead's 92 for fly-tipping means it's crapper than 92% of towns.
- Fly-tipping92/10032.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Reigate and Banstead council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions87/1004.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution83/10010.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene62/1004.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 50 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband50/1006.5% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 12.0% across the Reigate and Banstead council area
- Rain32/100121 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires17/100
- Anti-social behaviour10/1008.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson10/1004.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 15 | Ashford | 52 |
| 16 | New Haw, West Byfleet and Sheerwater | 51 |
| 17 | Guildford | 48 |
| 18 | Hersham | 46 |
| – | Banstead | 46 |
| 19 | Caterham | 44 |
| 20 | Dorking | 44 |
| 21 | Stanwell | 43 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.22 | Farnham | 38 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Banstead by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 53.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 30% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 550 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 616 per 10,000 people, 181.2x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 1 pub, 9 hairdressers, 7 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 22.4 per 100,000 people, 6.6x the typical town's 3.4
- 5 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 5.6 per 10,000 people, 3.5x the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.46am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 20% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 54.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 3.5x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,591 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Reigate and Banstead council
Have a crap-off
Banstead against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.