Crap Towns / Greater Manchester / Urmston
Urmston
42/100Crap Score
570th crappest of 984 towns, and 62nd in Greater Manchester. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Urmston smells of Davyhulme.
Urmston's got craft beer and small plates now. It's also got a famous sewage works next door.
Urmston went and got trendy, with little bars and somewhere doing tacos. It still hasn't got a tram, and on a warm day Davyhulme sewage works lets the whole town know it's there. Flixton's got the fields down by the Mersey. The precinct's still got empty shops in it, mind.
All those new places to eat and drink, and there's one public toilet in the whole town. Nearly one in seven takeaways with a rating comes in at 0 to 2 for hygiene, more than three times the typical town's share. Two libraries have shut for good and there's one bank left.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Urmston's 87 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 87% of towns.
- Sewage spills87/1001,296 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Air pollution79/10012.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene74/1003.8% rated 0 to 2, of the 264 food businesses with a rating
- Rain73/100148 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires69/1009.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping39/1009.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Trafford council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson27/1005.4 per 1,000 people a year, July 2023 to June 2026
- Broadband21/1003.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 6.0% across the Trafford council area
- Anti-social behaviour20/10010.3 per 1,000 people a year, July 2023 to June 2026
- Serious road collisions16/1001.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 58 | Cheadle | 50 |
| 59 | Standish | 49 |
| 60 | Hale | 43 |
| 61 | Romiley | 42 |
| 62 | Urmston | 42 |
| 63 | Sale | 40 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.64 | Bramhall | 38 |
| 65 | Altrincham | 31 |
| 66 | Cheadle Hulme | 30 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Urmston by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 69.6 crimes per 1,000 people a year (July 2023 to June 2026) Better: 9% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 11 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 2.6 per 10,000 people, 24% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 3 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2021
What's left on the high street
- 18 pubs, 30 hairdressers, 5 charity shops, 4 bookmakers, 1 bank, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 13.5% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (5 of 37) Worse: 3.4x the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 4.8 per 100,000 people, 41% higher than the typical town's 3.4
- 2 libraries shut for good since 2010: Bowfell (2015) and Davyhulme (2015)
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.2 per 10,000 people, 88% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open Worse: 0.5 per 10,000 people, 29% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.14am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.9% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 1.8x the typical town's 0.5%
- 25.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 1.6x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,420 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 7% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Trafford council
- £2,292 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £100 less than the English average
- 12% of Trafford council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 25% lower than England's 16%
- 9 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Urmston against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.