Crap Towns / Greater Manchester / Hale
Hale
43/100Crap Score
559th crappest of 984 towns, and 60th in Greater Manchester. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Hale? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Every car in Hale's a Range Rover.
Footballers move here. Room for the mansions, none for a public park.
Hale's where footballers buy a house once they've signed, and Ashley Road is where they get seen. The Range Rovers don't fit the spaces, and the people who own them moan about the parking charges like it's the end of the world. There are 2 Greggs, which nobody admits to using.
All that money and there isn't a single public park. Nearly half the place lives more than 400 metres from anywhere to play, which is fine if you've got three acres out the back. The storm overflows spill for nearly five times as long as the typical town's.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Hale's 88 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 88% of towns.
- Sewage spills88/1001,314 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain76/100152 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene75/1004.4% rated 0 to 2, of the 138 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband65/10012.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 6.0% across the Trafford council area
- Air pollution65/10010.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping39/1009.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Trafford council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions28/1001.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson27/1005.4 per 1,000 people a year, July 2023 to June 2026
- Anti-social behaviour20/10010.3 per 1,000 people a year, July 2023 to June 2026
- Deliberate fires8/1002.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 56 | Ashton-in-Makerfield | 51 |
| 57 | Hazel Grove | 50 |
| 58 | Cheadle | 50 |
| 59 | Standish | 49 |
| 60 | Hale | 43 |
| 61 | Romiley | 42 |
| 62 | Urmston | 42 |
| 63 | Sale | 40 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.64 | Bramhall | 38 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Hale by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 69.6 crimes per 1,000 people a year (July 2023 to June 2026) Better: 9% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 26 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 15.6 per 10,000 people, 4.6x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 6 pubs, 4 hairdressers, 1 charity shop, 2 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.8 per 10,000 people, 13% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open Better: 1.8 per 10,000 people, 2.6x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- All night buses on a Wednesday Better: The typical town's last bus goes at 12.14am
- 1.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 47.7% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Worse: 3.1x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,435 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 6% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Trafford council
- £2,292 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £100 less than the English average
- 12% of Trafford council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 25% lower than England's 16%
- 9 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Hale against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.