Crap Towns / Greater Manchester / Standish
Standish
49/100Crap Score
501st crappest of 984 towns, and 59th in Greater Manchester. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Wigan's posh bit, if you ask Standish
New estates on every field, and a crossroads that's been jammed since they last used the stocks.
Standish reckons it's a cut above Wigan. It's kept the old stocks and the well in the Market Place to prove it. Then they built houses on every field going and nobody did anything about the crossroads, so now it's a village with a traffic jam in the middle.
For all the airs, a quarter of the takeaways with a rating score 0 to 2 for hygiene, more than six times the typical town's share, and food businesses overall are three and a half times as likely to. Vape shops and bookies on the corner. Posh.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Standish's 88 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 88% of towns.
- Food hygiene88/1008.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 72 food businesses with a rating
- Rain85/100162 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson76/1009.2 per 1,000 people a year, July 2023 to June 2026
- Anti-social behaviour66/10017.5 per 1,000 people a year, July 2023 to June 2026
- Sewage spills49/100274 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Air pollution48/1008.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping35/1008.4 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Wigan council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Broadband32/1006.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.5% across the Wigan council area
- Deliberate fires28/1004.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Serious road collisions6/1000.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 55 | Stockport | 56 |
| 56 | Ashton-in-Makerfield | 51 |
| 57 | Hazel Grove | 50 |
| 58 | Cheadle | 50 |
| 59 | Standish | 49 |
| 60 | Hale | 43 |
| 61 | Romiley | 42 |
| 62 | Urmston | 42 |
| 63 | Sale | 40 |
Standish by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 89.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (July 2023 to June 2026) Worse: 17% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 1 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 76% lower than the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 7 pubs, 10 hairdressers, 1 charity shop, 2 bookmakers, 2 vape shops on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 25.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (3 of 12) Worse: 6.3x the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 50% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 14% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.49am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.8% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 1.6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 23.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 1.5x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,411 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 8% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Wigan council
Have a crap-off
Standish against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.