Crap Towns / Lincolnshire / Stamford
Stamford
46/100Crap Score
People from here are Stamfordians.
529th crappest of 984 towns, and 11th in Lincolnshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Stamford. Posh, and in Lincolnshire.
Gorgeous stone streets, Burghley House, giant Range Rovers and kitchens you'd want to check.
Stamford is a gorgeous old stone town that would really rather you didn't mention Lincolnshire. The school run's done in Range Rovers too wide for the Georgian streets, and a queue at Waitrose is the nearest it gets to civil unrest. Then you look at the kitchens. Bad hygiene ratings come up nearly twice as often as in the typical town, which you wouldn't expect from somewhere this pleased with itself.
The banks have cleared off as well, at nearly six times the typical town's rate, and it's a banking hub now like everywhere else. If you're not in the Range Rover you're walking. On a weeknight the last bus pulls out at 7.22pm and on a Sunday there isn't one, which suits Stamford fine. It's not as if the Deepings need to visit.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Stamford's 76 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 76% of towns.
- Food hygiene76/1004.2% rated 0 to 2, of the 166 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband72/1009.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 17.0% across the South Kesteven council area
- Serious road collisions70/1003.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour55/10015.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills52/100294 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Air pollution47/1006.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping36/1008.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, South Kesteven council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Rain16/100116 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson9/1004.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires0/1001.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 7 | Louth | 69 |
| 8 | Cleethorpes | 68 |
| 9 | Spalding | 64 |
| 10 | Grantham | 53 |
| 11 | Stamford | 46 |
| 12 | Sleaford | 45 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.13 | Humberston and New Waltham | 32 |
| 14 | Barton-upon-Humber | 32 |
| 15 | Bourne | 15 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Stamford by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 56.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 26% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 393 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 189 per 10,000 people, 55.6x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 18 pubs, 22 hairdressers, 8 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 6 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 15) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 4 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 19.3 per 100,000 people, 5.7x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.5 per 10,000 people, 69% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open Better: 1.4 per 10,000 people, 2x the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 7.22pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 16.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 7% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,634 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 7% higher than the typical town's 1,532
South Kesteven council
- £2,260 Band D council tax (2026-27) Better: £132 less than the English average
- 21% of Lincolnshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 31% higher than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Stamford against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.