Crap Towns / Lincolnshire / Humberston and New Waltham
Humberston and New Waltham
32/100Crap Score
667th crappest of 984 towns, and 13th in Lincolnshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
The villages are joining up.
Beach chalets at the Fitties, and new estates filling every field in between.
Humberston has the Fitties, a load of old beach chalets by the sea, and they're lovely. Everything else is new estates gluing the villages together into a big lump. The roads, schools and doctors can't keep up, and Toll Bar and Louth Road are jammed every rush hour. Nobody smashes anything up. They're all stuck in traffic.
All those new houses and 4.1% of them can't even get the legal minimum broadband speed. A fifth can't get gigabit. There's no public park on the map either, so the estates fill every field and none of it's for the kids. The Fitties had it right. A shed by the sea.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Humberston and New Waltham's 83 for broadband means it's crapper than 83% of towns.
- Broadband83/10020.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 5.8% across the North East Lincolnshire council area
- Deliberate fires75/10010.8 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping65/10013.8 incidents per 1,000 people a year, North East Lincolnshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions51/1002.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution37/1005.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Sewage spills36/100140 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain25/100119 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Anti-social behaviour22/1007.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene19/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 52 food businesses with a rating
- Criminal damage and arson16/1004.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 8 | Cleethorpes | 68 |
| 9 | Spalding | 64 |
| 10 | Grantham | 53 |
| 11 | Stamford | 46 |
| 12 | Sleaford | 45 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.13 | Humberston and New Waltham | 32 |
| 14 | Barton-upon-Humber | 32 |
| 15 | Bourne | 15 |
| 16 | North Hykeham | 13 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Humberston and New Waltham by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 49.6 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 35% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 14 problems reported on FixMyStreet in the year to October 2026 Better: 9.4 per 10,000 people, 54% lower than the typical town's 20.4
- 0 of 2 bathing waters here or within 2 km rated Excellent in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 5 pubs, 4 hairdressers on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2 public swimming pools open Better: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.59pm last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 5.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 11.4x the typical town's 0.5%
- 43.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Worse: 2.8x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,609 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 5% higher than the typical town's 1,532
North East Lincolnshire council
- £2,484 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £92 more than the English average
- 22% of North East Lincolnshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 38% higher than England's 16%
- 10 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Humberston and New Waltham against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.