North Hykeham

North Hykeham. Not Lincoln. Nearly Lincoln.

Twinned with Lincoln, which it isn't

13/100Crap Score

People from here are Hykehamites.

855th crappest of 984 towns, and 16th in Lincolnshire. Higher scores are crapper.

How the score works

Have your say

Crap Town of the Year 2026/27

See the race

The public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.

Letters from the locals

Got something to say about North Hykeham? Write in.

Where does Lincoln stop? Nobody knows.

Hykehamites will tell you they're not Lincoln. The houses join up, so nobody can tell.

North Hykeham swears blind it's a separate town from Lincoln, even though you can't tell where it stops and Lincoln starts. It's got lakes from the old gravel pits, sailing on Apex Lake and a museum full of old buses. Crime's low, the kitchens are clean and Hykehamites are very pleased about all of it.

The one thing it hasn't got is anywhere to go. There's 1 public toilet for the whole town. They keep building houses on the floodplain, which should be fun when the lakes get ideas. Lincoln's crapper, and Hykeham would like that noted.

The editor, who couldn't find where Lincoln ends

What the score is made of

Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.

North Hykeham's 58 for air pollution means it's crapper than 58% of towns.

Air pollution58/1006.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
Sewage spills44/100217 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
Serious road collisions43/1002.2 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
Anti-social behaviour39/10013.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
Broadband37/1001.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 17.1% across the North Kesteven council area
Fly-tipping32/1008.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, North Kesteven council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
Deliberate fires27/1004.0 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
Rain15/100116 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
Food hygiene14/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 63 food businesses with a rating
Criminal damage and arson9/1003.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026

**Your patch: Lincolnshire**Towns in the same county. Top of the table is crappest.
Pos	Town	National	Score
8	Cleethorpes	317th	68
9	Spalding	352nd	64
10	Grantham	467th	53
11	Stamford	529th	46
12	Sleaford	539th	45
In danger of becoming nice from here down.13	Humberston and New Waltham	667th	32
14	Barton-upon-Humber	669th	32
15	Bourne	836th	15
16	North Hykeham	855th	13

Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.

North Hykeham by numbers

Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.

Crime, muck and dodgy water

What's left on the high street

Getting about, getting online, getting rained on

North Kesteven council

Have a crap-off

North Hykeham against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.

Against

North HykehamCrap Score 13

LincolnCrap Score 81

Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.