Crap Towns / Lincolnshire / Bourne
Bourne
15/100Crap Score
836th crappest of 984 towns, and 15th in Lincolnshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Bourne? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Swim, then leave
Outdoor pool, nice woods and lots of charity shops. Then the buses stop.
Bourne used to build racing cars that won things. Now the busiest thing in town is the charity shops, all 9 of them. There's an outdoor pool, a nice wood, and it barely rains. The houses keep spreading, the schools are full and there's sod all to do of a night. Even the vandals have given up and stayed in.
Not that you could go anywhere. 22 buses leave after 7pm on a Wednesday, the last at 8.51pm, and on a Sunday the timetable's mostly blank. Bourne is a lovely place to be bored stiff.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Bourne's 50 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 50% of towns.
- Sewage spills50/100283 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Broadband48/1003.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 17.0% across the South Kesteven council area
- Anti-social behaviour44/10014.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene42/1002.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 100 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping36/1008.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, South Kesteven council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution34/1005.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions29/1001.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson11/1004.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain10/100114 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires3/1001.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 8 | Cleethorpes | 68 |
| 9 | Spalding | 64 |
| 10 | Grantham | 53 |
| 11 | Stamford | 46 |
| 12 | Sleaford | 45 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.13 | Humberston and New Waltham | 32 |
| 14 | Barton-upon-Humber | 32 |
| 15 | Bourne | 15 |
| 16 | North Hykeham | 13 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Bourne by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 48.9 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 36% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 215 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 123 per 10,000 people, 36.2x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 7 pubs, 13 hairdressers, 9 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 1 vape shop, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 10.5% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (2 of 19) Worse: 2.6x the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 5.7 per 100,000 people, 1.7x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.1 per 10,000 people, 31% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open Better: 1.7 per 10,000 people, 2.4x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 8.51pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 20% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 18.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 18% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,627 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 6% higher than the typical town's 1,532
South Kesteven council
- £2,260 Band D council tax (2026-27) Better: £132 less than the English average
- 21% of Lincolnshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 31% higher than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Bourne against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.