Crap Towns / Lincolnshire / Market Deeping
Market Deeping
10/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 10. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
A duck race but no pool.
A stone market town with a duck race, a raft race and no leisure centre.
Market Deeping's a pretty stone town on the Welland, and its big events are a raft race and a plastic duck race. Wild. They lost the leisure centre years ago and they're still waiting for another, so the ducks are the only ones getting a swim.
It hardly rains, the sewers behave and nobody sets fire to anything. The estates keep coming, faster than anything to go with them, and the buses stop at 8.37pm on a Wednesday. Lovely place to be in bed by nine.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Market Deeping's 77 for broadband means it's crapper than 77% of towns.
- Broadband77/10011.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 17.0% across the South Kesteven council area
- Anti-social behaviour47/10015.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution43/1006.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions37/1002.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping36/1008.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, South Kesteven council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Food hygiene25/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 40 food businesses with a rating
- Criminal damage and arson23/1005.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain7/100112 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires3/1000.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 9 | Spalding | 64 |
| 10 | Grantham | 53 |
| 11 | Stamford | 46 |
| 12 | Sleaford | 45 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.13 | Humberston and New Waltham | 32 |
| 14 | Barton-upon-Humber | 32 |
| 15 | Bourne | 15 |
| 16 | North Hykeham | 13 |
| – | Market Deeping | 10 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Market Deeping by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 45.8 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 92 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 141 per 10,000 people, 41.5x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 4 pubs, 6 hairdressers, 1 charity shop on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.5 per 10,000 people, 6% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 8.37pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 14.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 8% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,653 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 8% higher than the typical town's 1,532
South Kesteven council
- £2,260 Band D council tax (2026-27) Better: £132 less than the English average
- 21% of Lincolnshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 31% higher than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Market Deeping against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.