Crap Towns / Lincolnshire / Grantham
Grantham
53/100Crap Score
467th crappest of 984 towns, and 10th in Lincolnshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Wake us when it's over.
Gingerbread, lorries stuck under bridges and boring as shit.
Grantham gets put forward for Britain's most boring town, and the locals don't put up much of a fight. The shops are shutting, there's nowhere to see a band, and the big night out is the train to Nottingham, because the last bus goes at 7.56pm and there's barely one on a Sunday. Locals call it Granthrax.
The most exciting thing that happens is a lorry wedging itself under a railway bridge. That, and the vandals: criminal damage runs well above the typical town, and anti-social behaviour at 1.7 times. When they put up a statue of the town's most famous daughter, somebody egged it within hours. Most action the town centre's had in years.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Grantham's 84 for anti-social behaviour means it's crapper than 84% of towns.
- Anti-social behaviour84/10023.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson77/1009.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband73/1009.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 17.0% across the South Kesteven council area
- Serious road collisions67/1002.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution43/1006.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires40/1005.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping36/1008.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, South Kesteven council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Food hygiene29/1001.7% rated 0 to 2, of the 287 food businesses with a rating
- Sewage spills24/10059.4 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain21/100118 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 6 | Scunthorpe | 73 |
| 7 | Louth | 69 |
| 8 | Cleethorpes | 68 |
| 9 | Spalding | 64 |
| 10 | Grantham | 53 |
| 11 | Stamford | 46 |
| 12 | Sleaford | 45 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.13 | Humberston and New Waltham | 32 |
| 14 | Barton-upon-Humber | 32 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Grantham by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 89.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 17% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 891 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 198 per 10,000 people, 58.2x the typical town's 3.4
- 6 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 18 pubs, 31 hairdressers, 11 charity shops, 3 bookmakers, 3 vape shops, 9 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 5.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (2 of 40) Worse: 25% higher than the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 4.5 per 100,000 people, 32% higher than the typical town's 3.4
- 8 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.8 per 10,000 people, 13% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 4 public swimming pools open Better: 0.9 per 10,000 people, 29% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
- 2 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 7.56pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 20% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 24.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 1.6x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,561 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
South Kesteven council
- £2,260 Band D council tax (2026-27) Better: £132 less than the English average
- 21% of Lincolnshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 31% higher than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Grantham against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.