Crap Towns / Lincolnshire / Scunthorpe
Scunthorpe
73/100Crap Score
Known as Scumthorpe.
269th crappest of 984 towns, and 6th in Lincolnshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
The internet blocks it.
Even the internet's swear filters won't let you type the name. They might be on to something.
Scunthorpe is the town the internet blocks because of the swear word in the middle of its name. Locals call it Sunny Scunny, which is brave with a steelworks on the skyline. The town centre's dying, 2 libraries have gone, the vandals are busy and serious crashes run well over the typical town's rate.
Robbery runs at three times the typical town's rate and bike theft at over three, so whatever you came on, hold on to it. 9 of its 81 rated takeaways score 0 to 2. Grimsby reckons Scunny's worse. Grimsby's crapper. That's the best Scunthorpe's got.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Scunthorpe's 92 for criminal damage and arson means it's crapper than 92% of towns.
- Criminal damage and arson92/10011.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene90/1005.5% rated 0 to 2, of the 507 food businesses with a rating
- Serious road collisions90/1004.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires87/10017.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour72/10012.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution60/1007.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Sewage spills35/100130 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain29/100120 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping13/1005.3 incidents per 1,000 people a year, North Lincolnshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Broadband13/1001.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 6.2% across the North Lincolnshire council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 2 | Grimsby | 88 |
| 3 | Gainsborough | 87 |
| 4 | Lincoln | 81 |
| 5 | Skegness | 80 |
| 6 | Scunthorpe | 73 |
| 7 | Louth | 69 |
| 8 | Cleethorpes | 68 |
| 9 | Spalding | 64 |
| 10 | Grantham | 53 |
Scunthorpe by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 129 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 1.7x the typical town's 76.2
- 277 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 34.1 per 10,000 people, 10x the typical town's 3.4
- 5 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 36 pubs, 9 hairdressers, 7 charity shops, 3 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 6 banks, 4 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 11.1% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (9 of 81) Worse: 2.8x the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Better: 2.5 per 100,000 people, 26% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 2 libraries shut for good since 2010: Westcliff Library (2013) and Park Library (2023)
- 24 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.0 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.4 per 10,000 people, 43% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.59pm last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 13.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 12% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,503 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
North Lincolnshire council
- £2,348 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £44 less than the English average
- 17% of North Lincolnshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 6% higher than England's 16%
- 4 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Scunthorpe against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.