Crap Towns / Lincolnshire / Lincoln
Lincoln
81/100Crap Score
People from here are Yellowbellies.
186th crappest of 984 towns, and 4th in Lincolnshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Lincoln? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Steep Hill. Guess what it's like.
Lincoln's got a castle, a cathedral and a hill called Steep Hill. It's also right up there for bother.
Lincoln has a cathedral, a castle with a Magna Carta in it and a hill called Steep Hill, because it bloody is. Flat Lincolnshire put all its hills in one place. It's lovely at the top. Down below, anti-social behaviour comes in at 2.4 times the typical town's rate and the shoplifters treat the high street like a self-service till.
Lincoln council's fly-tipping comes in at 2.8 times the typical English council's, and there are 14 places on the Heritage at Risk register, so the history's crumbling as well. The kitchens are spotless, oddly. Locals start a pub crawl at the top of Steep Hill and let gravity get them home. Still, it's not Grimsby.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Lincoln's 97 for anti-social behaviour means it's crapper than 97% of towns.
- Anti-social behaviour97/10034.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping92/10030.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Lincoln council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson90/10011.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions83/1003.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution75/1008.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires62/1007.3 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Broadband48/1008.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 8.1% across the Lincoln council area
- Sewage spills25/10061.5 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain19/100117 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene3/1001.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 867 food businesses with a rating
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Boston | 94 |
| 2 | Grimsby | 88 |
| 3 | Gainsborough | 87 |
| 4 | Lincoln | 81 |
| 5 | Skegness | 80 |
| 6 | Scunthorpe | 73 |
| 7 | Louth | 69 |
| 8 | Cleethorpes | 68 |
| 9 | Spalding | 64 |
Lincoln by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 126 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 1.7x the typical town's 76.2
- 1,728 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 165 per 10,000 people, 48.5x the typical town's 3.4
- 4 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 61 pubs, 50 hairdressers, 14 charity shops, 7 bookmakers, 5 vape shops, 10 banks, 3 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 3.3% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (4 of 120) Better: 18% lower than the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Better: 1.9 per 100,000 people, 44% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 14 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 19% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 9 public swimming pools open; 2 closed for good since 2010 Better: 0.9 per 10,000 people, 29% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
- 14 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 2.59am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 20.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 33% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,616 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 5% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Lincoln council
- £2,323 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £69 less than the English average
- 21% of Lincolnshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 31% higher than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Lincoln against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.