Crap Towns / Lincolnshire / Louth
Louth
69/100Crap Score
People from here are Ludensians.
304th crappest of 984 towns, and 7th in Lincolnshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Louth? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Louth. They took the parking spaces.
Proper old market town. The council put benches in the parking bays and the town went mad.
Louth is a proper market town with a cattle market, Georgian streets and Hubbard's Hills. Then the council put seats in the parking spaces and locals lost their minds. Ludensians likened them to sun loungers, and they didn't mean it nicely.
Meanwhile anti-social behaviour is up at 2.1 times the typical town's rate, Lloyds, NatWest and Santander have all announced closures, and some premises don't even get the legal minimum broadband. The overflows round the Lud spill for 3.4 times as long as the typical town's, and the buses give up early. But mainly it's the seats.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Louth's 94 for broadband means it's crapper than 94% of towns.
- Broadband94/10018.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 33.0% across the East Lindsey council area
- Anti-social behaviour94/10030.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills81/100924 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson74/1008.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions65/1002.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping55/10010.4 incidents per 1,000 people a year, East Lindsey council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Rain40/100124 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Air pollution36/1005.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires3/1001.6 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene0/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 202 food businesses with a rating
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 3 | Gainsborough | 87 |
| 4 | Lincoln | 81 |
| 5 | Skegness | 80 |
| 6 | Scunthorpe | 73 |
| 7 | Louth | 69 |
| 8 | Cleethorpes | 68 |
| 9 | Spalding | 64 |
| 10 | Grantham | 53 |
| 11 | Stamford | 46 |
Louth by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 79.9 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 584 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 335 per 10,000 people, 98.5x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2022
What's left on the high street
- 18 pubs, 21 hairdressers, 11 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 2 vape shops, 5 banks, 2 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 23) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 3 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 17.2 per 100,000 people, 5.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 9 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 5.2 per 10,000 people, 3.3x the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Better: 1.1 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical English town's 0.7
- 2 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 8.23pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.4x the typical town's 0.5%
- 22.1% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 43% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,604 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
East Lindsey council
- £2,276 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £116 less than the English average
- 21% of Lincolnshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 31% higher than England's 16%
- 3 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Louth against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.