Crap Towns / Lincolnshire / Mablethorpe
Mablethorpe
77/100Crap Score
Locals call it Mabo.
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 77. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Shut till Easter
Huge sandy beach, a sand train and arcades. Come back in winter and it's chip fat and nothing.
Mablethorpe has a massive beach, a little sand train and a row of arcades. Outside the summer there's sod all to do, the nearest proper town is miles away, and the whole place stinks of old chip fat. The High Street is vape shops, bookies, charity shops, Greggs and pubs, with vape shops at 8.7 times the typical town's rate per head.
The sea's rated Excellent, both bits of it. It's the town that needs a bloody wash. Anti-social behaviour runs at 1.7 times the typical town's rate, there's no bus at all on a Sunday, and gigabit broadband reaches 76.6% of premises, so the long winter nights are spent buffering. Lovely sand, mind.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Mablethorpe's 97 for broadband means it's crapper than 97% of towns.
- Broadband97/10023.4% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 33.0% across the East Lindsey council area
- Serious road collisions88/1004.2 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour87/10024.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson71/1008.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires64/1008.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping55/10010.4 incidents per 1,000 people a year, East Lindsey council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Food hygiene55/1002.8% rated 0 to 2, of the 143 food businesses with a rating
- Rain32/100121 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Air pollution23/1004.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Sewage spills15/10023.1 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 2 | Grimsby | 88 |
| 3 | Gainsborough | 87 |
| 4 | Lincoln | 81 |
| 5 | Skegness | 80 |
| – | Mablethorpe | 77 |
| 6 | Scunthorpe | 73 |
| 7 | Louth | 69 |
| 8 | Cleethorpes | 68 |
| 9 | Spalding | 64 |
Mablethorpe by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 79.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 155 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 203 per 10,000 people, 59.7x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2019
- 2 of 2 bathing waters here or within 2 km rated Excellent in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 8 pubs, 9 hairdressers, 5 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 2 vape shops, 5 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2.9% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 35) Better: 28% lower than the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 banking hub opened here
- 7 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 9.2 per 10,000 people, 5.8x the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 8.14pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 3.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 6.8x the typical town's 0.5%
- 19.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 26% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,676 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 9% higher than the typical town's 1,532
East Lindsey council
- £2,276 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £116 less than the English average
- 21% of Lincolnshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 31% higher than England's 16%
- 3 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Mablethorpe against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.