Crap Towns / Wiltshire / Salisbury
Salisbury
56/100Crap Score
Locals call it Sally B.
430th crappest of 984 towns, and the crappest in Wiltshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Everyone knew you were coming
A cathedral city that calls itself a town, where everyone knows your business by lunchtime.
Salisbury's got Old Sarum, a Magna Carta and medieval streets, and locals still call it a town. Smallsbury, they say, because everyone knows your business before you've parked. Not that you'll park. The roads in are jammed and there's no nightlife.
The anti-social behaviour's worse than most, so knowing everyone's business hasn't made them behave. Even the Poultry Cross is on the Heritage at Risk list. Salisbury comes out the crappest town in Wiltshire, and the whole of Smallsbury will know by teatime.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Salisbury's 81 for anti-social behaviour means it's crapper than 81% of towns.
- Anti-social behaviour81/10022.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson69/1008.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene65/1003.2% rated 0 to 2, of the 252 food businesses with a rating
- Sewage spills57/100374 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Broadband55/1001.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 23.1% across the Wiltshire council area
- Serious road collisions55/1002.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain52/100129 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires27/1004.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Air pollution24/1006.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping21/1005.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Wiltshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Salisbury | 56 |
| 2 | Devizes | 49 |
| 3 | Melksham | 48 |
| 4 | Swindon | 43 |
| 5 | Trowbridge | 41 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Warminster | 30 |
| 7 | Chippenham | 29 |
| 8 | Calne | 24 |
| 9 | Westbury | 24 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Salisbury by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 77.1 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 18 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 3.8 per 10,000 people, 12% higher than the typical town's 3.4
- 4 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 32 pubs, 39 hairdressers, 15 charity shops, 6 bookmakers, 6 vape shops, 8 banks, 3 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 4.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 25) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Better: 2.1 per 100,000 people, 38% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 17 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.6 per 10,000 people, 2.3x the typical town's 1.6
- 4 public swimming pools open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Better: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 14% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.25am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 9.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 41% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,628 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 6% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Wiltshire council
Have a crap-off
Salisbury against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.