Crap Towns / Wiltshire / Melksham
Melksham
48/100Crap Score
Known as Melks.
511th crappest of 984 towns, and 3rd in Wiltshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Melksham. Tried to be Bath. Didn't.
Melksham tried to be a spa town like Bath. It ended up with a lot of supermarkets.
Melksham made tyres and cloth and once had a go at being a spa town to rival Bath. It didn't work. Now it does supermarkets, a lot of them, plus some ugly buildings in the middle and all the traffic going straight through, because the bypass got binned.
There's 1 charity shop on the map, which for a Wiltshire town is almost suspicious, and Greggs at nearly four times the typical town's per head. The Avon gets more sewage than it should, with the storm overflows going off for nearly eight times the typical town's hours. On a Sunday there's barely a bus. Do the big shop on Saturday.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Melksham's 94 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 94% of towns.
- Sewage spills94/1002,157 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Broadband74/1006.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 23.1% across the Wiltshire council area
- Food hygiene68/1004.2% rated 0 to 2, of the 72 food businesses with a rating
- Anti-social behaviour60/10016.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain48/100127 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson37/1006.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions36/1002.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution30/1006.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping21/1005.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Wiltshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Deliberate fires8/1002.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Salisbury | 56 |
| 2 | Devizes | 49 |
| 3 | Melksham | 48 |
| 4 | Swindon | 43 |
| 5 | Trowbridge | 41 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Warminster | 30 |
| 7 | Chippenham | 29 |
| 8 | Calne | 24 |
| 9 | Westbury | 24 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Melksham by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 58.7 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 23% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.1 per 10,000 people, 68% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 3 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2024
What's left on the high street
- 11 pubs, 1 charity shop, 2 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 6.7% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 15) Worse: 1.7x the typical town's 4.0%
- 4 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.2 per 10,000 people, 38% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Better: 1.1 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.57pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.9% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 1.8x the typical town's 0.5%
- 6.8% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 56% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,645 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 7% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Wiltshire council
Have a crap-off
Melksham against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.