Crap Towns / Wiltshire / Warminster
Warminster
30/100Crap Score
693rd crappest of 984 towns, and 6th in Wiltshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
UFOs and empty shops.
Warminster is famous for UFO sightings. They're easier to spot than a new shop opening.
Warminster had a spate of UFO sightings, and there's a mural in the car park so you don't forget. The army is up on Salisbury Plain, so there's always something loud flying over. In town, the shops are empty, Market Place and East Street are jammed and you pay to park.
There are 3 pubs, well under half the typical town's per head, and there's no bus after 8.58pm. 2.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband either. The aliens had a look and left.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Warminster's 81 for broadband means it's crapper than 81% of towns.
- Broadband81/10010.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 23.1% across the Wiltshire council area
- Anti-social behaviour65/10017.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain65/100138 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson52/1007.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills51/100290 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Serious road collisions33/1002.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires24/1003.7 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping21/1005.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Wiltshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution19/1005.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene12/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 66 food businesses with a rating
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 2 | Devizes | 49 |
| 3 | Melksham | 48 |
| 4 | Swindon | 43 |
| 5 | Trowbridge | 41 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Warminster | 30 |
| 7 | Chippenham | 29 |
| 8 | Calne | 24 |
| 9 | Westbury | 24 |
| 10 | Stratton St Margaret | 22 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Warminster by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 63.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 17% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 1 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 0.6 per 10,000 people, 82% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 6 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 3 charity shops, 1 bank, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 13) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 11.1 per 100,000 people, 3.3x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.7 per 10,000 people, 6% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Worse: 0.6 per 10,000 people, 14% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 8.58pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 2.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 4.4x the typical town's 0.5%
- 12.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 19% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,563 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Wiltshire council
Have a crap-off
Warminster against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.