Crap Towns / Wiltshire / Swindon
Swindon
43/100Crap Score
Oxford fans call them Moonrakers.
558th crappest of 984 towns, and 4th in Wiltshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Swindon? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Swindump, to Oxford fans.
Home of the Magic Roundabout. That's the most interesting thing about it.
Swindon's got the Magic Roundabout, a railway museum and a town centre that's been dying for years. The Oasis dome has been shut forever. Nightlife's thin, the one-way system's a maze and they've shut libraries. The best directions anywhere start with how to get out.
6 public swimming pools have shut for good since 2010, and the old Mechanics Institute is on the Heritage at Risk list. The broadband's excellent, mind, so you can look at Bath online. Locals tell people they live near Bath. They don't.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Swindon's 70 for anti-social behaviour means it's crapper than 70% of towns.
- Anti-social behaviour70/10018.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping64/10013.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Swindon council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution54/1008.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions46/1002.3 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson45/1006.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene42/1002.2% rated 0 to 2, of the 854 food businesses with a rating
- Rain42/100124 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills38/100149 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Deliberate fires16/1003.3 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Broadband3/1001.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.1% across the Swindon council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Salisbury | 56 |
| 2 | Devizes | 49 |
| 3 | Melksham | 48 |
| 4 | Swindon | 43 |
| 5 | Trowbridge | 41 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Warminster | 30 |
| 7 | Chippenham | 29 |
| 8 | Calne | 24 |
| 9 | Westbury | 24 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Swindon by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 73.2 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 24 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 18% higher than the typical town's 1.1
- 12 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 56 pubs, 90 hairdressers, 26 charity shops, 21 bookmakers, 9 vape shops, 13 banks, 10 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 4.6% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (5 of 109) Worse: 15% higher than the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Better: 1.1 per 100,000 people, 68% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 2 libraries shut for good since 2010: Walcot Library (2017) and Covingham Library (2020)
- 14 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 50% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 6 public swimming pools open; 6 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.3 per 10,000 people, 57% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 2 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.25am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 4.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 74% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,598 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Swindon council
Have a crap-off
Swindon against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.