Crap Towns / Wiltshire / Chippenham
Chippenham
29/100Crap Score
Locals call it Chippers.
699th crappest of 984 towns, and 7th in Wiltshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Chippenham? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Neither good nor shit. Just there.
Not good, not bad. Bang in the middle and happy there.
Chippenham's so average it's hard to even slag off. The big story is the Buttercross, which spent years in someone's garden as a gazebo before they brought it back. That's the big story. The High Street is charity shops and Greggs, nearly four times the typical town's Greggs per head, and the banks have announced 4 branch closures.
There are 18 public toilets, over three times the typical town's per head, so at least you can go while you wait for the doctor the new estates can't get. Calne think they're better. They're not.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Chippenham's 84 for broadband means it's crapper than 84% of towns.
- Broadband84/10011.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 23.1% across the Wiltshire council area
- Sewage spills67/100553 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour64/10017.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain52/100129 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson30/1005.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene30/1001.5% rated 0 to 2, of the 131 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution28/1006.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions22/1001.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping21/1005.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Wiltshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Deliberate fires13/1002.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 3 | Melksham | 48 |
| 4 | Swindon | 43 |
| 5 | Trowbridge | 41 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Warminster | 30 |
| 7 | Chippenham | 29 |
| 8 | Calne | 24 |
| 9 | Westbury | 24 |
| 10 | Stratton St Margaret | 22 |
| 11 | Amesbury | 20 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Chippenham by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 56.3 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 26% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 0.6 per 10,000 people, 82% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 8 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 20 pubs, 4 hairdressers, 8 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 2 banks, 4 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 25) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 4 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 11.1 per 100,000 people, 3.3x the typical town's 3.4
- 18 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 5.0 per 10,000 people, 3.1x the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open Worse: 0.6 per 10,000 people, 14% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.41am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.9% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 1.8x the typical town's 0.5%
- 15.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space About the same: About the same as the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,657 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 8% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Wiltshire council
Have a crap-off
Chippenham against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.