Crap Towns / Wiltshire / Devizes
Devizes
49/100Crap Score
People from here are Moonrakers.
505th crappest of 984 towns, and 2nd in Wiltshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Round again for a free space
The canal locks get the tourists. The Market Place gets the vape shops.
Devizes has Caen Hill locks, a brewery and a market place full of vape shops, charity shops, Greggs and pubs, with five times the typical town's vape shops per head. There's no station, the bypass has been argued about for years and everyone drives round in circles looking for free parking.
There's 1 public toilet on the map for the whole town, which matters, because come Saturday night the anti-social lot take over the Market Place. Moonrakers, they call themselves. The smugglers raking the Crammer for cheese were at least up to something.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Devizes's 92 for broadband means it's crapper than 92% of towns.
- Broadband92/10020.5% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 23.1% across the Wiltshire council area
- Anti-social behaviour83/10022.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson62/1008.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions54/1002.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain53/100129 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene49/1002.4% rated 0 to 2, of the 85 food businesses with a rating
- Sewage spills32/100109 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Air pollution25/1006.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping21/1005.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Wiltshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Deliberate fires17/1003.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Salisbury | 56 |
| 2 | Devizes | 49 |
| 3 | Melksham | 48 |
| 4 | Swindon | 43 |
| 5 | Trowbridge | 41 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Warminster | 30 |
| 7 | Chippenham | 29 |
| 8 | Calne | 24 |
| 9 | Westbury | 24 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Devizes by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 71.6 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 6% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.0 per 10,000 people, 71% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 4 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 16 pubs, 20 hairdressers, 13 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 3 vape shops, 3 banks, 2 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 11) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 3 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 15.4 per 100,000 people, 4.5x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.5 per 10,000 people, 69% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Worse: 0.5 per 10,000 people, 29% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.10am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 20% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 4.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 72% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,631 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 6% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Wiltshire council
Have a crap-off
Devizes against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.