Crap Towns / Kent / Rusthall and Langton Green
Rusthall and Langton Green
26/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 26. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
The toad's the highlight.
Rusthall has a rock shaped like a toad. Langton Green invented Subbuteo. That's the tour.
Rusthall has Toad Rock on the common. It's a rock. It looks like a toad. Langton Green is where Subbuteo started. It's posh Tunbridge Wells country, crime's half the typical town's and nothing gets smashed.
Over a third of premises can't get gigabit broadband. All that money, and the internet's slower than the toad. There are 5 pubs and 1 hairdresser, so everyone's either pissed or overdue a trim. That's the lot.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Rusthall and Langton Green's 98 for broadband means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Broadband98/10035.4% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 19.2% across the Tunbridge Wells council area
- Food hygiene55/1003.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 28 food businesses with a rating
- Serious road collisions55/1002.6 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain48/100127 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills38/100151 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
- Air pollution35/1006.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping28/1006.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Tunbridge Wells council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour18/1009.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson16/1004.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires15/1002.6 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 24 | Hythe | 44 |
| 25 | Tonbridge | 43 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.26 | Royal Tunbridge Wells | 39 |
| 27 | Larkfield | 38 |
| 28 | Deal | 36 |
| 29 | Herne | 32 |
| 30 | Sevenoaks | 27 |
| – | Rusthall and Langton Green | 26 |
| 31 | Longfield, New Ash Green and Hartley | 10 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Rusthall and Langton Green by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 38.1 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 50% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 1 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 18% higher than the typical town's 1.1
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2016
What's left on the high street
- 5 pubs, 1 hairdresser on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 10.54pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 43.1% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.8x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,645 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 7% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Tunbridge Wells council
Have a crap-off
Rusthall and Langton Green against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.