Crap Towns / Wiltshire / Royal Wootton Bassett
Royal Wootton Bassett
16/100Crap Score
828th crappest of 984 towns, and 12th in Wiltshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Swindon's right there. Behind you.
A tidy little town with a town hall on stilts and Swindon breathing down its neck.
Royal Wootton Bassett is a tidy little town with a town hall stood on pillars and a ducking stool in the museum. It's clean and quiet, with crime at just over half the typical town's rate. The moans are the traffic through the middle, people parking in residential roads and drivers flying down New Road. There's no station, so you have to go to Swindon. Nobody wants to go to Swindon.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Royal Wootton Bassett's 74 for broadband means it's crapper than 74% of towns.
- Broadband74/1006.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 23.1% across the Wiltshire council area
- Sewage spills62/100442 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain57/100132 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson42/1006.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution28/1006.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour26/10011.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions26/1001.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping21/1005.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Wiltshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Food hygiene18/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 54 food businesses with a rating
- Deliberate fires13/1002.6 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 6 | Warminster | 30 |
| 7 | Chippenham | 29 |
| 8 | Calne | 24 |
| 9 | Westbury | 24 |
| 10 | Stratton St Margaret | 22 |
| 11 | Amesbury | 20 |
| 12 | Royal Wootton Bassett | 16 |
| 13 | Tidworth | 11 |
| 14 | Corsham | 5 |
Royal Wootton Bassett by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 41.7 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 45% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.5 per 10,000 people, 56% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2024
What's left on the high street
- 10 pubs, 7 hairdressers, 4 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 1 vape shop on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 10) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 7.7 per 100,000 people, 2.3x the typical town's 3.4
- 5 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.8 per 10,000 people, 2.4x the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 14% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.10am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 3.7% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 76% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,648 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 8% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Wiltshire council
Have a crap-off
Royal Wootton Bassett against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.