Crap Towns / Wiltshire / Tidworth
Tidworth
11/100Crap Score
Known as Tidders.
871st crappest of 984 towns, and 13th in Wiltshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Soldiers and sod all
It's a garrison on Salisbury Plain. You need a car to get anywhere, including out.
Tidworth is an army town on the edge of Salisbury Plain, with a haunted drummer in the history books and soldiers everywhere. It's tidy and crime's low. There's not much beyond the supermarkets, the buses cost a fortune and for any real shopping you go to Andover or Salisbury.
There's 1 pub on the map for the whole garrison and 3 public swimming pools. Even off duty they want you doing lengths. Soldiers joke that a posting here is a reason to quit.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Tidworth's 75 for broadband means it's crapper than 75% of towns.
- Broadband75/1007.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 23.1% across the Wiltshire council area
- Food hygiene70/1006.1% rated 0 to 2, of the 33 food businesses with a rating
- Deliberate fires61/1007.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Rain45/100125 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Anti-social behaviour39/10013.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping21/1005.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Wiltshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution17/1005.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions12/1001.2 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson6/1003.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 6 | Warminster | 30 |
| 7 | Chippenham | 29 |
| 8 | Calne | 24 |
| 9 | Westbury | 24 |
| 10 | Stratton St Margaret | 22 |
| 11 | Amesbury | 20 |
| 12 | Royal Wootton Bassett | 16 |
| 13 | Tidworth | 11 |
| 14 | Corsham | 5 |
Tidworth by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 41.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 46% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 1 reports of broken street lights on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 0.9 per 10,000 people, 29% higher than the typical town's 0.7
What's left on the high street
- 1 pub on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.9 per 10,000 people, 44% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open Better: 2.8 per 10,000 people, 4x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.27am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 7.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 49% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,612 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 5% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Wiltshire council
Have a crap-off
Tidworth against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.