Crap Towns / Essex / Rochford
Rochford
22/100Crap Score
772nd crappest of 984 towns, and 22nd in Essex. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Rochford? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Shh. Nothing's happening.
The market square looks nice. There's sod all nightlife.
Rochford's got a pretty market square and the Whispering Court, which used to sit at midnight with everyone talking in whispers. It's been quiet ever since. Hardly any shops, no nightlife, and Southend Airport on the doorstep so you can watch other people leave.
There's rain on 105 days a year, so it can't even blame the weather for being this dull. The train to London costs a fortune when it isn't shut for engineering works. The river walks along the Roach are nice.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Rochford's 70 for air pollution means it's crapper than 70% of towns.
- Air pollution70/1009.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions64/1002.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires54/1006.0 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson47/1006.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene34/1001.4% rated 0 to 2, of the 70 food businesses with a rating
- Anti-social behaviour32/1008.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband29/1002.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 10.1% across the Rochford council area
- Fly-tipping24/1007.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Rochford council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Sewage spills20/10041.1 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain0/100105 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 18 | Thundersley and South Benfleet | 32 |
| 19 | Billericay | 29 |
| 20 | Witham | 28 |
| 21 | Harwich | 23 |
| 22 | Rochford | 22 |
| 23 | Braintree | 21 |
| 24 | Stanford-le-Hope | 17 |
| 25 | Brentwood | 17 |
| 26 | Great Dunmow | 13 |
Rochford by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 75.1 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 4 reports of abandoned vehicles on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 3.2 per 10,000 people, 3.6x the typical town's 0.9
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2022
What's left on the high street
- 6 pubs, 2 hairdressers, 1 charity shop, 1 bank, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 banking hub opened here
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) About the same: 1.6 per 10,000 people, about the same as the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 14% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.22pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 21.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 39% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,752 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 14% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Rochford council
- £2,363 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £29 less than the English average
- 10% of Essex County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 38% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Rochford against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.