Crap Towns / Essex / Ashingdon
Ashingdon
1/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 1. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Ashdon reckons it happened there.
Claims a famous battle. Ashdon disagrees. There's bugger all else to argue about.
Ashingdon reckons the Battle of Assandun was fought here in 1016. Ashdon, up the other end of Essex, reckons it was there. Nobody else gives a toss. It's still the most exciting thing that's happened in the place.
Crime's about a third of the typical town's. Nothing to nick. There's one pub, no pool and not a single public park on the map, and nearly half the village lives more than 400 metres from so much as a swing. The big local moan is the queue on Ashingdon Road. When the traffic's the only thing that kicks off, you've got it easy.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Ashingdon's 67 for air pollution means it's crapper than 67% of towns.
- Air pollution67/1008.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene40/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 13 food businesses with a rating
- Serious road collisions33/1001.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Broadband25/1002.4% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 10.1% across the Rochford council area
- Fly-tipping24/1007.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Rochford council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Sewage spills5/1000.1 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson2/1002.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires2/1000.8 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Rain2/100107 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Anti-social behaviour0/1002.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 26 | Great Dunmow | 13 |
| 27 | Halstead | 12 |
| 28 | Rayleigh | 11 |
| 29 | Chelmsford | 9 |
| 30 | Hockley and Hawkwell | 7 |
| 31 | Maldon | 6 |
| – | Ashingdon | 1 |
| 32 | Saffron Walden | 1 |
| 33 | South Woodham Ferrers | 0 |
Ashingdon by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 24.9 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 67% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 1 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.5 per 10,000 people, 56% lower than the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 1 pub on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.25pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 46.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Worse: 3x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,742 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 14% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Rochford council
- £2,363 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £29 less than the English average
- 10% of Essex County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 38% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Ashingdon against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.