Crap Towns / Essex / Harwich
Harwich
23/100Crap Score
People from here are Shrimpers.
760th crappest of 984 towns, and 21st in Essex. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Harwich. End of the road.
Ferries, lighthouses, a beach, and the feeling you've driven off the edge of the world.
Harwich is the very end of the A120, and bloody hell it feels like it. There's a ferry to Holland, two old lighthouses, Halfpenny Pier and a beach at Dovercourt. After that, sod all to do. The Shrimpers have the best way out of Essex sat right there in the harbour, and the ferry costs more than flying.
It gets 1,760 hours of sun a year, well above the typical town, and all it does is show up how knackered bits of it look. Halifax and TSB both shut. The bookies are doing all right, at twice the typical town per head. The last bus goes at 11.01pm, and nobody fly-tips. Too far to drive.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Harwich's 89 for broadband means it's crapper than 89% of towns.
- Broadband89/10017.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 20.6% across the Tendring council area
- Criminal damage and arson77/1009.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution57/1008.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene42/1002.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 100 food businesses with a rating
- Anti-social behaviour39/1009.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions37/1002.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills35/100127 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Deliberate fires20/1003.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping8/1003.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Tendring council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Rain1/100107 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 17 | Buckhurst Hill | 37 |
| 18 | Thundersley and South Benfleet | 32 |
| 19 | Billericay | 29 |
| 20 | Witham | 28 |
| 21 | Harwich | 23 |
| 22 | Rochford | 22 |
| 23 | Braintree | 21 |
| 24 | Stanford-le-Hope | 17 |
| 25 | Brentwood | 17 |
Harwich by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 85.8 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 13% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 5 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 2.5 per 10,000 people, 26% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2018
- Excellent Dovercourt's bathing water rating, 2025
What's left on the high street
- 11 pubs, 13 hairdressers, 4 charity shops, 3 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 3 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 8.3% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 12) Worse: 2.1x the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 9.9 per 100,000 people, 2.9x the typical town's 3.4
- 6 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.0 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Worse: 0.5 per 10,000 people, 29% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 3 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.01pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 8.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 45% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,760 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 15% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Tendring council
Have a crap-off
Harwich against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.