Crap Towns / Buckinghamshire / Prestwood and Great Missenden
Prestwood and Great Missenden
12/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 12. Higher scores are crapper.
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Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
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Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
The museum's next door. We get HS2.
Pretty villages, a children's book museum and HS2 cutting through the woods.
Great Missenden gets the museum, the tourists and the Midsomer Murders crews. Prestwood gets a bus that stops at 7.11pm. Both are annoyingly decent, so all anyone moans about is HS2 chopping down the woods, school-run parking, and the fact the other village gets the good stuff.
Prestwood used to have cherry orchards. Now it's got a grudge. There's no public park and half the place lives more than 400 metres from a park or play space, but there are 8 hairdressers, so everyone looks nice while they're sulking. Pubs are decent.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Prestwood and Great Missenden's 85 for broadband means it's crapper than 85% of towns.
- Broadband85/10014.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 18.0% across the Buckinghamshire council area
- Serious road collisions53/1002.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain50/100128 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Air pollution41/1006.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires37/1004.7 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping27/1007.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Buckinghamshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Food hygiene24/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 41 food businesses with a rating
- Criminal damage and arson18/1004.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour15/1006.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 4 | Milton Keynes | 36 |
| 5 | Amersham | 34 |
| 6 | Newport Pagnell | 19 |
| 7 | Flackwell Heath and Wooburn Green | 13 |
| – | Prestwood and Great Missenden | 12 |
| 8 | Aylesbury | 10 |
| 9 | Buckingham | 8 |
| 10 | Marlow | 6 |
| 11 | Chalfont St Peter | 5 |
Prestwood and Great Missenden by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 42.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 44% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 195 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 257 per 10,000 people, 75.6x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 7 pubs, 8 hairdressers, 1 charity shop on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.9 per 10,000 people, 2.4x the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 7.11pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.8x the typical town's 0.5%
- 49.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Worse: 3.2x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,545 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Buckinghamshire council
Have a crap-off
Prestwood and Great Missenden against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.