Crap Towns / Buckinghamshire / Buckingham
Buckingham
8/100Crap Score
905th crappest of 984 towns, and 9th in Buckinghamshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
No, not the palace.
Lost the county town to Aylesbury and still hasn't got over it. Nice gaol, though.
Buckingham used to be the county town until Aylesbury nicked it, and it's still got a face on about it. It's quiet, it's pretty and the Old Gaol is a museum. The Ouse comes in through the front door when it rains and the teenagers have nothing to do but sit on a wall.
The takeaways are the worry, with over four times the typical town's share rated 0 to 2. There are banks everywhere, over five times the typical town's per head, so it's a cracking town for paying a cheque in and a risky one for a kebab. St Rumbold's Well is on the Heritage at Risk list.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Buckingham's 73 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 73% of towns.
- Food hygiene73/1004.7% rated 0 to 2, of the 85 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband65/1006.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 18.0% across the Buckinghamshire council area
- Air pollution39/1006.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires37/1004.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Rain35/100122 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping27/1007.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Buckinghamshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour23/1007.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson15/1004.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills10/1007.8 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Serious road collisions2/1000.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 5 | Amersham | 34 |
| 6 | Newport Pagnell | 19 |
| 7 | Flackwell Heath and Wooburn Green | 13 |
| 8 | Aylesbury | 10 |
| 9 | Buckingham | 8 |
| 10 | Marlow | 6 |
| 11 | Chalfont St Peter | 5 |
| 12 | Beaconsfield | 3 |
| 13 | Hazlemere | 2 |
Buckingham by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 56.8 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 25% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 278 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 194 per 10,000 people, 57.1x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 9 pubs, 4 hairdressers, 4 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 6 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 16.7% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (2 of 12) Worse: 4.2x the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 7.0 per 100,000 people, 2.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 6 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 4.2 per 10,000 people, 2.6x the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Better: 2.1 per 10,000 people, 3x the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.54pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 0.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: Against the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,552 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Buckinghamshire council
Have a crap-off
Buckingham against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.