Crap Towns / Buckinghamshire / Aylesbury
Aylesbury
10/100Crap Score
881st crappest of 984 towns, and 8th in Buckinghamshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Aylesbury? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Who built that? And why?
Nice ducks. Shame about County Hall, which you can see from everywhere.
Aylesbury's famous for a white duck and stuck with County Hall, a concrete tower that looks like a multi-storey stood on its end. You can see it from everywhere, which is the problem. The plan to tart up the town centre gets smaller every time they draw it. It's not shit. It's just grey.
The council sits in that tower, and the ombudsman upheld 69 complaints against it in a single year. At least the building's honest.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Aylesbury's 77 for broadband means it's crapper than 77% of towns.
- Broadband77/10010.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 18.0% across the Buckinghamshire council area
- Deliberate fires58/1006.7 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Air pollution55/1007.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour37/1008.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson36/1006.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping27/1007.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Buckinghamshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions20/1001.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain20/100117 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills19/10037.4 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Food hygiene5/1001.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 400 food businesses with a rating
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 4 | Milton Keynes | 36 |
| 5 | Amersham | 34 |
| 6 | Newport Pagnell | 19 |
| 7 | Flackwell Heath and Wooburn Green | 13 |
| 8 | Aylesbury | 10 |
| 9 | Buckingham | 8 |
| 10 | Marlow | 6 |
| 11 | Chalfont St Peter | 5 |
| 12 | Beaconsfield | 3 |
Aylesbury by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 82.8 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 9% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 1,352 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 154 per 10,000 people, 45.3x the typical town's 3.4
- 5 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2021
What's left on the high street
- 25 pubs, 35 hairdressers, 10 charity shops, 6 bookmakers, 4 vape shops, 13 banks, 3 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2.9% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (2 of 69) Better: 28% lower than the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Better: 1.1 per 100,000 people, 68% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 1 library shut for good since 2010: Thomas Hickman School (2011)
- 15 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.7 per 10,000 people, 6% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 8 public swimming pools open Better: 0.9 per 10,000 people, 29% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- midnight last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 7.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 53% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,537 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Buckinghamshire council
Have a crap-off
Aylesbury against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.