Crap Towns / Nottinghamshire / Nottingham
Nottingham
93/100Crap Score
Known as Snottingham.
66th crappest of 984 towns, and 2nd in Nottinghamshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Nottingham? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Broadmarsh is still a hole.
They knocked down Broadmarsh and left a hole. The rest of the city is roadworks and potholes.
Nottingham has Robin Hood, the caves, Goose Fair and a castle that isn't really a castle. Right in the middle it also has a bloody great hole where Broadmarsh used to be, which they've been promising to do something with for years. Locals call the place Shottingham or Snottingham, depending on the night they've had.
The council logged fly-tipping at 7.3 times the typical council's rate and brought not one prosecution for it. For the privilege, a Band D home pays £2,755 in council tax. That's a lot of money to live in a skip.
Anti-social behaviour sits at twice the typical town's, the vandals are busy and the roads are knackered, with serious crashes at twice the typical town's rate as well. Forest fans still call Derby Direby. Bold, from a city with a hole in the middle.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Nottingham's 99 for fly-tipping means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Fly-tipping99/10080.3 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Nottingham council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions97/1005.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour94/10030.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution92/10013.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Criminal damage and arson91/10011.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires68/1008.8 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Sewage spills36/100132 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain35/100122 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene31/1002.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 2,203 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband13/1003.4% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.2% across the Nottingham council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Newark-on-Trent | 95 |
| 2 | Nottingham | 93 |
| 3 | Mansfield | 93 |
| 4 | Sutton in Ashfield | 90 |
| 5 | Worksop | 78 |
| 6 | Clifton | 75 |
| 7 | Kirkby-in-Ashfield | 74 |
| 8 | Stapleford | 71 |
| 9 | Eastwood | 67 |
Nottingham by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 129 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 1.7x the typical town's 76.2
- 27 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 0.9 per 10,000 people, 74% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 12 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
- Excellent Colwick Country Park (West Lake)'s bathing water rating, 2025
What's left on the high street
- 151 pubs, 289 hairdressers, 42 charity shops, 33 bookmakers, 30 vape shops, 18 banks, 14 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 3.2% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (11 of 342) Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 4.0%
- 7 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Better: 2.3 per 100,000 people, 32% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 1 library shut for good since 2010: Wells Road library (2019)
- 41 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.4 per 10,000 people, 13% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 19 public swimming pools open; 11 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.6 per 10,000 people, 14% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 19 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- All night buses on a Wednesday Better: The typical town's last bus goes at 12.14am
- 0.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 16.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space About the same: About the same as the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,481 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Nottingham council
Have a crap-off
Nottingham against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.