Crap Towns / Nottinghamshire / Eastwood
Eastwood
67/100Crap Score
323rd crappest of 984 towns, and 9th in Nottinghamshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Who's revving at Giltbrook at this hour?
Empty shops, a main road down the middle, and car meets revving all night at Giltbrook.
Eastwood was a pit town. Now the shopping street's cut in half by Nottingham Road and the shops are emptying out, and the old centre's made the Heritage at Risk register. There's a Blue Line painted on the pavement to walk you round the literary sights. It takes you past the bookies and the vape shops, which come in at more than five times the typical town's rate per head.
Shoplifting's through the roof, low hygiene ratings at the takeaways are 3.6 times as common as in the typical town, and the storm overflows spill at more than five times the typical rate. Boy racers hold car meets at Giltbrook and rev their engines like it's a personality. Locals call it Brown Town. Fair.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Eastwood's 90 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 90% of towns.
- Sewage spills90/1001,480 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Serious road collisions84/1003.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution81/10010.4 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires69/1009.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour65/10017.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson56/1007.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain44/100125 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene40/1001.9% rated 0 to 2, of the 103 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping23/1006.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Broxtowe council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Broadband2/1000.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 4.3% across the Broxtowe council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 5 | Worksop | 78 |
| 6 | Clifton | 75 |
| 7 | Kirkby-in-Ashfield | 74 |
| 8 | Stapleford | 71 |
| 9 | Eastwood | 67 |
| 10 | Hucknall | 64 |
| 11 | Retford | 60 |
| 12 | Forest Town | 55 |
| 13 | Mansfield Woodhouse | 55 |
Eastwood by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 76.8 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 6 reports of abandoned vehicles on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 3.2 per 10,000 people, 3.6x the typical town's 0.9
- 3 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2020
What's left on the high street
- 15 pubs, 17 hairdressers, 5 charity shops, 3 bookmakers, 3 vape shops, 2 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 14.3% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (2 of 14) Worse: 3.6x the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 5.3 per 100,000 people, 1.6x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.1 per 10,000 people, 31% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.09am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 20.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 29% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,490 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Broxtowe council
- £2,618 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £226 more than the English average
- 19% of Nottinghamshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 19% higher than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Eastwood against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.