Crap Towns / Derbyshire / Heanor
Heanor
64/100Crap Score
Locals call it Ena.
354th crappest of 984 towns, and 4th in Derbyshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Promised a cinema. Got pigeons.
Empty shops, vape shops, barbers, and pigeons crapping on Market Place.
Heanor town centre is empty shops, vape shops, barbers and bookies, with pigeons nesting over Market Place and crapping on whoever walks underneath. They promised a cinema on the old college site. Still waiting.
There are 39 hairdressers and 1 bank, so everyone in Heanor looks sharp and nobody's got anywhere to pay in. Vape shops run at four times the typical town's rate per head. The anti-social behaviour is 1.7 times the typical town's, the local yobs set fire to the bins at twice the typical rate, and the roads see too many nasty crashes. Nobody fly-tips, mind. Shipley Country Park is nice. Go there instead.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Heanor's 85 for anti-social behaviour means it's crapper than 85% of towns.
- Anti-social behaviour85/10023.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions84/1003.6 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson79/1009.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires77/10011.3 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Sewage spills73/100685 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Air pollution73/1009.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Rain51/100128 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband25/1002.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 10.8% across the Amber Valley council area
- Food hygiene13/1000.8% rated 0 to 2, of the 127 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping0/1001.8 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Amber Valley council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Derby | 87 |
| 2 | Bolsover | 76 |
| 3 | Chesterfield | 74 |
| 4 | Heanor | 64 |
| 5 | Shirebrook | 62 |
| 6 | Staveley | 61 |
| 7 | Matlock | 59 |
| 8 | South Normanton and Pinxton | 50 |
| 9 | Ripley | 47 |
Heanor by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 89.9 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 18% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 4 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.6 per 10,000 people, 53% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2020
What's left on the high street
- 20 pubs, 39 hairdressers, 7 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 3 vape shops, 1 bank, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 23) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 6 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.5 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open Better: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 14% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.17am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 13.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 13% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,492 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Amber Valley council
- £2,408 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £16 more than the English average
- 15% of Derbyshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 6% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Heanor against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.