Crap Towns / Derbyshire / Shirebrook
Shirebrook
62/100Crap Score
Known as Shitebrook in Warsop.
376th crappest of 984 towns, and 5th in Derbyshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
A warehouse with a town attached
Shirebrook is an old pit town with a giant Sports Direct warehouse. Warsop calls it Shitebrook.
Shirebrook was a pit town. Now it's mostly known for the giant Sports Direct warehouse that takes up the skyline, and the town centre isn't somewhere you'd choose to spend time. People from Warsop call it Shitebrook. Others call it a smaller Mansfield, which isn't much better.
They found room for a warehouse the size of a county, and the map can't find a single public park. The bins go up in smoke often enough to put deliberate fires at 1.8 times the typical town's rate, and the anti-social lot are well above the typical town too. Bolsover's got more homes standing empty than most councils. The Robin Hood Line stops here, so at least you can leave.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Shirebrook's 73 for deliberate fires means it's crapper than 73% of towns.
- Deliberate fires73/10010.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour73/10019.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping72/10015.7 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Bolsover council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson67/1008.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene66/1004.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 76 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution58/1007.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Rain42/100124 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Serious road collisions33/1001.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Broadband26/1004.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 6.7% across the Bolsover council area
- Sewage spills24/10060.1 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Derby | 87 |
| 2 | Bolsover | 76 |
| 3 | Chesterfield | 74 |
| 4 | Heanor | 64 |
| 5 | Shirebrook | 62 |
| 6 | Staveley | 61 |
| 7 | Matlock | 59 |
| 8 | South Normanton and Pinxton | 50 |
| 9 | Ripley | 47 |
Shirebrook by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 92.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 21% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of litter and bins on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 1.7 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical town's 0.9
What's left on the high street
- 6 pubs, 3 hairdressers, 1 bookmaker on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 7.7% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 13) Worse: 1.9x the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 8.6 per 100,000 people, 2.5x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.9 per 10,000 people, 44% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.24pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 20% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 19.7% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Worse: 27% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,508 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Bolsover council
Have a crap-off
Shirebrook against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.