Crap Towns / Derbyshire / Chesterfield
Chesterfield
74/100Crap Score
People from here are Spireites.
253rd crappest of 984 towns, and 3rd in Derbyshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Chesterfield? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Vegas? With that spire?
Chesterfield's got a crooked spire, a dead shopping centre and a vape shop on every corner.
Chesterfield has a famous wonky spire, and locals call a night out here Chez Vegas with a straight face. The Pavements is more shutters than shops. They did the market up and the shoppers still didn't come back. What did turn up was the vape shops, at nearly five times the typical town's rate per head.
The pubs are rammed, and so are the police files: crime's half as high again as the typical town, mostly violence, with plenty of public order on top. The river's having a worse time. 23 serious pollution incidents have been logged round here since 2016, the latest putting crude sewage in the water, and the overflows run for more than three times as long as the typical town's.
Three pools have shut for good since 2010. The walk up from the station is grim as owt. Spireites have never forgiven Mansfield for the strike, and they're not about to start now.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Chesterfield's 84 for anti-social behaviour means it's crapper than 84% of towns.
- Anti-social behaviour84/10023.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills80/100891 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson74/1009.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions73/1003.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution61/1008.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires61/1007.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Broadband57/1009.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 9.5% across the Chesterfield council area
- Rain55/100131 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene49/1002.4% rated 0 to 2, of the 582 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping13/1005.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Chesterfield council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Derby | 87 |
| 2 | Bolsover | 76 |
| 3 | Chesterfield | 74 |
| 4 | Heanor | 64 |
| 5 | Shirebrook | 62 |
| 6 | Staveley | 61 |
| 7 | Matlock | 59 |
| 8 | South Normanton and Pinxton | 50 |
| 9 | Ripley | 47 |
Chesterfield by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 114 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 50% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 51 reports of litter and bins on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 6.7 per 10,000 people, 7.4x the typical town's 0.9
- 23 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 72 pubs, 69 hairdressers, 15 charity shops, 7 bookmakers, 11 vape shops, 10 banks, 6 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 4.6% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (5 of 110) Worse: 15% higher than the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Better: 2.6 per 100,000 people, 24% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 26 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.4 per 10,000 people, 2.1x the typical town's 1.6
- 5 public swimming pools open; 3 closed for good since 2010 About the same: 0.7 per 10,000 people, about the same as the typical English town's 0.7
- 4 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.08am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 20% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 18.7% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 21% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,510 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Chesterfield council
- £2,339 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £53 less than the English average
- 15% of Derbyshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 6% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Chesterfield against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.