Crap Towns / Derbyshire / Staveley
Staveley
61/100Crap Score
Known as Stavelli.
387th crappest of 984 towns, and 6th in Derbyshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Staveley? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
No bypass. Breathe in.
Waited years for a bypass. Got told no. Now it's lorries through the middle for good.
Staveley waited years for a bypass and then they scrapped it, so the lorries still go straight through the middle and the serious crashes come in at one and a half times the typical town. Market Square's been dug up and the shops round it have their shutters down. Locals call it Stavelli, which is the most continental thing about the place.
To be fair it's full of parks, on the old pit at Poolsbrook and all round town, nearly three times the typical town per head. The grass in them keeps getting set alight. And the latest serious pollution incident put landfill odour in the air, so between the lorries and the tip there's no great reason to breathe in.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Staveley's 85 for serious road collisions means it's crapper than 85% of towns.
- Serious road collisions85/1003.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour72/10018.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires67/1008.7 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Air pollution62/1008.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Broadband56/1008.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 9.5% across the Chesterfield council area
- Criminal damage and arson55/1007.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain51/100128 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills50/100279 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Food hygiene35/1001.5% rated 0 to 2, of the 69 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping13/1005.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Chesterfield council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 2 | Bolsover | 76 |
| 3 | Chesterfield | 74 |
| 4 | Heanor | 64 |
| 5 | Shirebrook | 62 |
| 6 | Staveley | 61 |
| 7 | Matlock | 59 |
| 8 | South Normanton and Pinxton | 50 |
| 9 | Ripley | 47 |
| 10 | Somercotes and Swanwick | 47 |
Staveley by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 80.3 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 5% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 5 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 3.3 per 10,000 people, 3x the typical town's 1.1
- 7 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 9 pubs, 2 hairdressers, 1 charity shop, 1 bookmaker, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 7.7% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 13) Worse: 1.9x the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 19% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open; 1 closed for good since 2010 About the same: 0.7 per 10,000 people, about the same as the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.49pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.8% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 1.6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 4.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 71% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,537 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Chesterfield council
- £2,339 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £53 less than the English average
- 15% of Derbyshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 6% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Staveley against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.