Crap Towns / Derbyshire / Derby
Derby
87/100Crap Score
Known as Derbiza.
125th crappest of 984 towns, and the crappest in Derbyshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Gone to Nottingham for the shops.
Derby makes the engines that fly people round the world. Mostly they fly out of Derby.
Locals call it Derbados, which tells you how long since any of them saw a beach. The city centre's grim and everyone goes to Nottingham to shop, which they'll never admit. It's a city, officially. It feels like a big town that's been told it's a city and hasn't worked out what to do about it.
It's the crappest place in Derbyshire, and it's earned it. Crime's half as high again as the typical town, with violence, drugs and public order all well up. The air's over the health guidelines on both counts. The council logged 6,477 fly-tips in a year and prosecuted nobody, low hygiene ratings are 1.7 times as common as in the typical town, and 7 public pools have shut since 2010.
The Rams are the pride of Derby. There's not much else to be proud of.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Derby's 86 for serious road collisions means it's crapper than 86% of towns.
- Serious road collisions86/1003.6 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping85/10022.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Derby council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution84/10011.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene81/1004.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 1,585 food businesses with a rating
- Anti-social behaviour73/10019.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson72/1008.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain48/100127 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires46/1005.8 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Sewage spills39/100173 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Broadband6/1002.4% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 2.5% across the Derby council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Derby | 87 |
| 2 | Bolsover | 76 |
| 3 | Chesterfield | 74 |
| 4 | Heanor | 64 |
| 5 | Shirebrook | 62 |
| 6 | Staveley | 61 |
| 7 | Matlock | 59 |
| 8 | South Normanton and Pinxton | 50 |
| 9 | Ripley | 47 |
Derby by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 116 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 1.5x the typical town's 76.2
- 200 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 7.3 per 10,000 people, 2.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 7 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2021
What's left on the high street
- 113 pubs, 201 hairdressers, 42 charity shops, 25 bookmakers, 26 vape shops, 14 banks, 13 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 7.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (18 of 259) Worse: 1.8x the typical town's 4.0%
- 6 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Better: 2.2 per 100,000 people, 35% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 34 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.2 per 10,000 people, 25% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 14 public swimming pools open; 7 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.5 per 10,000 people, 29% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 4 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- All night buses on a Wednesday Better: The typical town's last bus goes at 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 21.8% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 41% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,473 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Derby council
Have a crap-off
Derby against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.