Crap Towns / Nottinghamshire / Stapleford
Stapleford
71/100Crap Score
Known as Stabbo.
289th crappest of 984 towns, and 8th in Nottinghamshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
More vape shops than parks.
Stapleford has an ancient stone pillar, a lot of sewage and a lot of empty shops.
Stabbo's big attraction is the Hemlock Stone, a lump of sandstone on a hill that's been stood there doing nothing for a very long time. It fits right in. Down on the high street it's empty shops, charity shops and vape shops, and the vape shops are winning, nearly seven times the typical town per head. There's one public park. There are three vape shops.
The storm overflows round Stapleford spilled for 1,982 hours per 10,000 people a year, more than seven times the typical town. There's no public pool, so if you fancy a swim it's the Erewash or nothing, and you don't fancy the Erewash.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Stapleford's 93 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 93% of towns.
- Sewage spills93/1001,982 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Air pollution84/10011.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions75/1003.3 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene71/1004.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 94 food businesses with a rating
- Deliberate fires69/1009.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour61/10016.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson51/1007.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain33/100121 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping23/1006.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Broxtowe council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Broadband8/1001.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 4.3% across the Broxtowe council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 4 | Sutton in Ashfield | 90 |
| 5 | Worksop | 78 |
| 6 | Clifton | 75 |
| 7 | Kirkby-in-Ashfield | 74 |
| 8 | Stapleford | 71 |
| 9 | Eastwood | 67 |
| 10 | Hucknall | 64 |
| 11 | Retford | 60 |
| 12 | Forest Town | 55 |
Stapleford by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 75.3 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 19 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 12.6 per 10,000 people, 3.7x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2018
What's left on the high street
- 8 pubs, 16 hairdressers, 6 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 3 vape shops, 1 bank, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 5.6% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 18) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 banking hub opened here
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.0 per 10,000 people, 25% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.47am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 19.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 25% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,493 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Broxtowe council
- £2,618 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £226 more than the English average
- 19% of Nottinghamshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 19% higher than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Stapleford against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.